Vacancy
by Suki Yume
Summary: The blank expression was not unusual on Rima's face ... apart from when it came to Shiki. Something has happened to Rima and destroyed the close relationship the two once shared with one another. Can love pull through?
1. Sweet Dreams

_A/N: Heya! ^^ I'll try to keep this short so you can get on with reading. Anyway, this is my first story and it focuses on Shiki and Rima's relationship. Most things are the same as in the anime, apart from one major difference and that is they are not vampires and Cross Academy is just a normal school. I hope this isn't too bad and you'll like it, even just a tiny bit. Please review, I'd like to know what you think and how I'm doing. Just no super-harsh comments please! With love. Suki Yume. x_

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**Sweet Dreams**

A small, serene smile graced the lips of a young teenage boy as he slept. His thick red-brown hair lay tousled on his pillow as he was held captivated by his dream. Images of his childhood flashed behind his closed eyelids and he heard the soft, childish voice as clearly as if it was right next to him …

_"Shiki, we'll always be together, ne?"_

Suddenly clear blue eyes opened and stared vacantly at the ceiling. Despite his calm outward façade, he could feel his heart clench and a new sense of confusion possessed him. He could still see the happy smile of the little girl with golden locks in his mind's eye and he could still feel her little arms around him. He was still feeling like that little innocent boy in the girl's embrace and he felt so unsure, so vulnerable. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and climbed out of bed to get ready for school. After splashing cold water on his face, he looked up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had grown significantly from that little boy but his trademark characteristics were still there: everything from his serious yet cool expression and his clear blue eyes to his peculiar dark red hair. He couldn't see why the managers made such a big fuss over him. For him, modelling was just a way of making money and passing time. But modelling … it was how he met Rima. He felt a familiar tug in his heart once again and bent down to splash more cold water on his face to clear his head. He ran a hand through his messy hair and went to get dressed in his academy uniform. After buttoning up his white uniform jacket, he walked out of his room; his mind elsewhere, only to bump into a girl with yellow-orange hair who was walking in a similar fashion; chewing distractedly on a stick of strawberry flavoured Pocky.

"Rima!" he exclaimed as he was brought out of his daydreams.

Indigo eyes gradually focused on him and he swore he saw some conflicting emotions flickering in her gaze before they settled on a blank, cold expression.

"… Sorry … "she mumbled before walking round him and continuing on her journey. Shiki stared at her retreating silhouette and suddenly the image of the little girl reappeared in his mind. He saw the warmth in her eyes and her genuine smile, all in such contrast to the cold look he just received. If this was anyone else, they wouldn't have noticed. But this wasn't just anyone. This was Shiki, her childhood friend, the only one she would ever open up to and the only one who had ever seen any emotion in her gaze. Growing up as models, both he and Rima had adopted the calm, indifferent approach to life. It acted as a deterrent for unwanted attention and this was especially useful when it came to annoying admirers and over-enthusiastic fans as they entered adolescence. But when they were in the presence of one another, they were like any other kids their age and their bored, expressionless façades were tossed aside for sunny smiles and joyful laughter. However, recently it seemed the silent treatment had been extended to him as well. He sighed and passed a hand over his face, as though trying to wipe away his anxiety. If only life was so simple.

He entered class and took his usual seat as he stared in the teacher's general direction, his mind far away. He found it very hard to focus on reality, especially now that he had lost the centre of his world; the one who kept him anchored and offered him support. The empty seat next to him felt so cold, so prominent, as though it was mocking him. He longed to see the familiar copper head bent over her work beside him, the long bunches hanging perfectly on each side of her face and the bangs falling over her mesmerising lilac-blue eyes. He couldn't help but glance over at the opposite side of the class, his face as expressionless as usual, but his eyes full of unanswered questions.

Rima sat staring at the blackboard but it was clear her attention was elsewhere. The teacher sighed. This was usual for the quiet reserved girl and he knew better than to try to tell her off. He would simply be met by a pair of bored eyes that would stare him down until he backed off. But recently, it seemed there was something in those eyes. They seemed … forlorn and pained. He quickly glanced at Shiki, her former counterpart and noticed that his gaze was directed also at the orange-haired girl, a similar sad expression in his eyes. Perhaps something happened between them. They had been so close before, inseparable even. But one day Rima came into his class and chose an empty seat at the opposite side of where she usually sat, clearly avoiding Shiki's questioning and imploring gaze. He sighed once again. This had nothing to do with him. His job was just to teach. But he couldn't help but feel the anxiety passing between the two, like radio waves of some sort.

Shiki did not notice his teacher's glance. His attention was focused on the girl sitting with a blank expression on her face. His eyes followed the long pin-straight hair tied up with the little ribbons and he ached to run his fingers through the silky strands. He knew how they would feel: satin soft and smooth to the touch. He used to constantly stroke her hair as she leaned against him under an umbrella in the sunlight. Her hair would appear to be made of copper as the sun reflected off the shiny locks. Then his gaze travelled to her eyes. Those eyes were such an exquisite colour … a mixture blue with little flecks of lilac. They seemed to change colour with her emotions … sometimes they were an almost clear blue that reminded Shiki of calm pools of water softly glistening in the sunlight … other times they seemed more like the evening sky: somewhere between indigo and navy with a gentle sparkle. Those eyes always held him captivated and every time he looked into them, he thought he could continue doing just that for the rest of his life. His lips twitched into a sad smile as he thought of this and just at that moment, those eyes flicked quickly towards him before resuming their previous task of staring blankly at the front of the class. Shiki could swear he saw a glimpse of the old Rima in that quick glance. It was suppressed and it was there for only a fraction of a second, but it was there nonetheless. It was something Shiki would instantly recognise. He continued to stare at those eyes, willing for them to make contact with him one more time, trying to transmit an unspoken question across the distance.

_What happened, Rima?_

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_Plz plz plz review! ^_^ Thank yuu so muchos for taking the time to read this! Much love. x_


	2. A Four  Letter  Word Beginning With L

_A/N: Hi again! ^^ I want to say a big thank yuu to Rinako for reviewing and to ShadowCatMage13 for adding this to your story alerts! Thank you so much. You realli made my day, and I'm not over-exaggerating. =P I couldn't believe it when I got an email the very next day telling me that I had a review! You two have realli encouraged me to keep writing and to get this chapter finished! So this chapter is dedicated to the both of u. *huggles you tightly* ^_^ *edit* Ha ha, just as I was about to update this, I got a review notification from Purplerama. Thank you! And here's your update. =P Sorry for any mistakes. Please review people! Much love. x_

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**A Four-Letter-Word Beginning With "L"**

The next day, Shiki awoke to the insistent beeping of his alarm clock. He groaned and sleepily rolled over towards his bedside table, blindly feeling for the offending contraption. He switched it off and blearily opened his eyes. He was due in at the studio today for a photo shoot.

Half an hour later, Shiki had washed and dressed and was ready to leave for the studio. He locked his dorm room and yawned sleepily, trying to rub the last traces of sleep from his face. There wasn't any chance of him running into Rima today; it was still much too early for anyone to be up for classes. The morning air was cold and stinging against his skin, even though it was already spring. Shiki pulled his coat tighter around him and buried his hands in his pockets. Despite the cold, he had to admit he was rather thankful that the sun was still weak. His pale porcelain complexion had a tendency of burning easily. Normally, he wouldn't have to worry about such trivialities: Rima shared the same problem as him and she always made sure to shade them both with her umbrella. She liked to tell him off for not taking care of himself and she often accused him of not loving himself enough. He remembered when he had once flippantly replied that he had better things to love as he looked pointedly at her and the resulting blush from Rima. She had tried to fake nonchalance and rolled her eyes, but she could not help the soft pink shade that adorned her cheeks. Shiki smiled at the memory but then was once again consumed by that feeling of loneliness ever since Rima began distancing herself from him. He really missed her.

Lost in his thoughts, it seemed like the journey to the studio had happened in the blink of an eye. He took a moment to gather himself and took a deep breath before he pushed open the main door to the building. The receptionist smiled at him from behind her counter and he weakly returned her smile. He slowly made his way through the meandering corridors until he reached the main studio. He was about to push open the door when he heard voices from within. He quickly withdrew his hand and leaned against the adjacent wall, listening in to the conversation. It didn't feel quite right to be eavesdropping and he knew it was a breach of trust on his part, but he would recognise that voice anywhere.

"But why, Rima?" the manager's voice floated through the distance. Judging by the clarity, Shiki guessed they weren't standing far from the door.

Silence … then, "I just can't handle it anymore … "

Shiki froze. Her voice … it sounded so … defeated. _Can't handle what, Rima? _He cursed his luck: if he had arrived maybe just a minute earlier, he may have caught the beginning of the conversation and he would know what was bothering her.

"… I see … But Shiki is still here, though! You two have always been together! We've had you two here since you were tiny little toddlers. Won't you miss him if you leave?"

Shiki felt his heart clench. Rima was leaving? But they swore they would do this together. They had made so many promises to always be together; to work together; to live life together. Why would she suddenly decide to resign without telling him anything? Why wasn't she telling him anything?

Rima sighed. "I know … "

"Aaah, I know. There's someone else, isn't there? That's why you're always trying to avoid him. So, who's the lucky guy?"

Once again, Shiki felt his heart drop. Did Rima love someone else? Is that why she was acting the way she was? She had suddenly become so cold towards him. _Rima? Is this true? Please tell me it's not true … please … _he begged silently, willing the message to get to her somehow.

The manager's comment had been met by silence. Silence. Did that mean it was true? She didn't deny it. Maybe it was true … Of course. It was such an obvious explanation but all this time, he couldn't see it. She had been dropping him hints all this time and he had missed every single one of them. How could he have been so blind? He wanted to kick himself for his stupidity. He had always assumed that she wanted to be with him and in his naivety and selfishness he had been blind to her true wishes. His hands clenched into fists at his side and his nails dug viciously into his palms. But that pain was nothing, _nothing_ compared to what he felt inside. He thought his heart had been torn and shattered into a million pieces and he couldn't breathe.

Inside the room, the manager broke the awkward silence that had ensued with a forced laugh.

"Oh well. Young love these days, eh? Anyway, I wish you all the best in the future and don't forget to visit! You'll be missed. Here's your pay cheque for this month…"

There was a rustling of paper and the shuffling of feet and Shiki came to his senses enough to slink into a nearby corridor to avoid being caught. He watched as Rima exited the door and began to make her way out of the building. She looked so thin. She had always been slim, but there was a fragile air about her now … But that wasn't any of Shiki's business anymore. She had someone else. A new wave of pain tore through Shiki and he had to lean against the wall to steady himself. He breathed in deeply in an attempt to compose himself and tried to push the thoughts of Rima to the back of his mind. Finally feeling himself calm down considerably, he pushed of the wall and entered the main studio. His manager turned to greet him.

"Oh, Shiki! It's nice to see you …" She broke off as she noticed the dejected look about him. It reminded her of the way Rima looked. She brushed the thought aside as she doubted she could get much of an explanation from him. Shiki and Rima were so alike they almost seemed like the same person. Rather than waste time trying to pry an answer from the reserved youth, she chose to remain purely professional and directed him to the line of clothes he was to model for a magazine.

All through the session, that defeated air clung to Shiki. It was not unusual for the boy to wear such a serious expression; it was one of the things that magazine editors especially liked about the young model. He always seemed so cool and collected and made their pictures look all the more professional. However, there was a look of sadness in his eyes and he seemed very distracted. The manager sighed. There wasn't much point continuing like this; no matter how hard he tried, the pictures would be nowhere near his usual standard. She eventually called the session to a close and proceeded to discuss the matter of postponing the shoot to another day with Shiki.

As he stood in front of her desk, Shiki's eyes caught the models' timetable on the wall behind her. His eyes immediately picked out Rima's name and he travelled along her row, noticing how there was a sharp, thin line scoring out all her working days. _So it was true. Rima had resigned._

"…Shiki? So what do you think?"

He blinked. He had been too distracted in his own thoughts once again. The manager sighed and repeated her question and after a laborious ten minutes, they finally had something figured out. He would come back to do his shoot another day.

He left the building and started to make his way back to the academy. The sun was high in the sky now and it burnt his skin; but he didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. He felt like a little boat that had lost its bearings in the vast ocean. He didn't know what to do with himself.

On arrival at Cross Academy, his distracted state made him oblivious to the person coming out of the doors until it was too late. The two collided and the person dropped the suitcases and other belongings that they were carrying. Shiki immediately bent down to help the person retrieve their belongings, muttering an apology. Suddenly, he froze, his hand outstretched. Amongst the suitcases and folders, a little stuffed teddy sat, its eyes connecting with Shiki's. It was the little teddy he had given Rima. He immediately looked up, meeting cool indigo irises.

"Rima?" he whispered. "Where are you going?"

Her eyed softened as she took in his pained expression. They glistened for a moment with what looked suspiciously like tears before she closed them. When they reopened, the look was gone.

"… To the agency … for a photo shoot …" She opened her mouth as though to add something else, then closed it again, sighing. "Shiki … I'm sorry … please forgive me."

And with that, she turned, swiftly picking up the remainder of her belongings and walking out the door, the little bear peeking over her shoulder at Shiki. Shiki watched as she got into a black car and watched as it drove away. He stood in the exact same spot, unmoving for a long time, staring dumbly at the spot where Rima had once stood. He repeatedly played back her last words to him. Where was she really going? She had just resigned, for crying out loud! His head began to throb and he eventually dragged himself back to his dorm room, collapsing onto his bed. He lay there silently as his heart threatened to give out on him. It felt so painful. He replayed all the memories with Rima in his head then gave a small, humourless laugh. He was such an idiot. He thought that what they had was love, but it turned out to be another four-letter-word that seemed so much like it. It was all lies. All of it.

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_Thank you for reading. Please leave me a review, they will be much appreciated! With love. Suki Yume. x_


	3. Searching For the Answers

_A/N: Heya, guess who? =P I am so so sorry for the delayed update, I've been so busy lately that I've not had much time to work on this. I know this isn't the best of chapters, but I realli wanted to get this out there for everyone that reviewed or added this story to their lists. (Thank yuus so much, u dnt kno how happy u made me! ^_^) I'd like to say a big big thank you to everyone that reviewed/faved this story, I would say a personal thank you, but I don't want to bore you and write a big long list of names. =P But hopefully you all know who you are, so thank you so muchos! *huggles* I'm sorry this chapter doesn't answer many of your questions; it's just moving the plot along, but no worries, I'm already working on the next one and hopefully it won't take too long! Please excuse any mistakes!_

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**Searching For the Answers**

Rima didn't come back. Several days had passed since she left and Shiki spent every day in his dorm room, refusing to go to classes. He didn't see the point anymore. He didn't even feel like eating but somebody was leaving food for him outside his door. He ignored it at the beginning, but eventually took to nibbling it in an attempt to take his mind of things. Despite staying in bed for the majority of the day, he had hardly gotten enough rest and it showed on his tired features. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Rima's face. On one of the lucky occasions when he managed to drift off, he would dream. The dreams weren't bad; it was waking up that was the biggest blow. Behind his closed lids, he would see memories of his past – no, _their_ past – play like a movie. He would see her smile, her lively eyes, her pale porcelain complexion occasionally powdered by a soft pink blush … but then consciousness would reclaim him and he would tumble unwillingly back into the harsh world of reality and be tormented by his pain once again. He hated those moments. He wished he could stay in that comforting world of dreams where he was oblivious to everything else that went on around him; where he could escape the truth.

Suddenly, Shiki heard footsteps outside his door, followed by the sound of paper being pushed under his door. He sighed and originally planned on ignoring it, but then he noticed the school emblem on the piece of paper and reluctantly dragged himself to his feet, making his way towards his door. It was a note from the headmaster, asking him to have a "meeting" with him in his office. Shiki sighed. No doubt the teachers had reported his absence to the headmaster. He really didn't need this right now. He didn't know what would happen to him; perhaps he'd b expelled or be forced to endure some kind of punishment. But this, in Shiki's eyes, was punishment enough. Nothing involving being detained after lessons or forced to copy out lines could compare.

He slowly made his way towards his bathroom to try to make himself look a little bit more presentable before going to see what awaited him. He splashed cold water on his face to try to remove the grey tone that seemed to have permanently settled itself onto his features. His eyes had dark rings around them and made him look so much older. After taking a shower and changing into fresh clothes, he looked almost like his old self again, if not for the tiredness and sadness that clung to him like an invisible aura. He locked his room door and walked down the hallway towards the headmaster's office.

Headmaster Cross was sitting at his desk working on some paperwork when a knock on his door interrupted him. He granted access to his office before leaning back in his chair and looking up to see his visitor.

"Ah, Shiki! I'm glad you came along. How are you doing?" he greeted the boy pleasantly.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he didn't need to ask to know how the teen was doing. He looked fatigued. But out of politeness, he sat and waited for a reply. Cross was a respectable man with a pleasant smile. He didn't fit into the general mould of strict, detached head teachers and he genuinely cared about the wellbeing of his pupils. In fact, he was quite the opposite: he could seem extremely immature at times and sometimes seemed to act younger than the kids. He was what you could call a "big kid" at heart and this made him extremely approachable to the pupils. However, as if by a flick of a switch, he could transform from immature teen mode to serious and sensible; and at this moment in time, he had on a serious expression.

Shiki looked away from those probing eyes and focused all his attention on the carpet beneath his feet. He really didn't feel like talking. He never was one for chatting, but now he wanted to keep to himself more than ever. Cross sighed. He knew he wouldn't get much of a reply from the teen but it was worth a try anyway. He decided to head straight to the point instead.

"Shiki, I'm sure you'll have figured out why I've asked you to come here. You've been absent from classes for several days now. I know you've got a lot on your mind right now and I can understand that you may be finding it hard to cope, especially with Rima's departure…"

Shiki started to tune out as Cross droned on and on …

"… That's why I've decided to give you a break."

"A break?" This caught Shiki's attention once again.

"… Yes. I think it'll do you good to be away from the school environment for a while. Besides, I'm sure your mother could do with your company. Take some time to relax your mind and you can come back when you see fit."

This was not what Shiki expected. He expected detentions, extra lessons, punishment exercises … anything along those lines. But a break? It couldn't do him any harm he supposed. It couldn't be any worse from what he was going through now. In addition, as Cross had mentioned, his mum would be pleased to see him. She suffered from an unfortunate mental illness so she needed somebody to care for her and she was extremely attached to Shiki.

Half an hour later, Shiki was in his room packing a suitcase. After emptying a drawer and shoving the contents into the open suitcase, his eyes fell upon the photo frame sitting on top of the set of drawers. It was a picture of him and Rima. Their smiles looked genuine and they looked very close. Had it really all been a lie? He subconsciously extended a finger and stroked over the image of Rima. He wanted to see her smile again. Her sparkling blue eyes in the picture seemed to connect with his own; and for the first time since she had left, he felt a tiny spark of hope flicker deep in his heart. Maybe there had been something meaningful in their relationship after all? The earnest, loving eyes in the picture seemed to want him to understand that. _But then what was going on with Rima? _

He sighed deeply, then picked up the photograph and placed it carefully on top of his other belongings. He wanted to feel as though she was still by his side. After locking his door, he was meaning to make his way to the main exit to the school but found his feet leading him in the opposite direction.

He now stood in front of a familiar wooden door. _What am I doing here?_ He wondered to himself. He reached out and felt the cool smooth surface of the wood and the cold brass of the doorknob. For reasons beyond his comprehension, he turned the doorknob and was very surprised when the door opened. _Why hadn't the door been locked?_ Seeing he had already come this far, Shiki cautiously let himself into the room. The room looked so strange yet so familiar. The furniture was still where it was meant to be, but all the personality; all the character was gone. It felt so cold. He looked at the bare walls, where countless posters used to occupy. Many of them had been modelling projects featuring both Shiki and Rima. Shiki walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. The sheets still held the smell of Rima's perfume and it made Shiki feel as though he was closer to her. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent deeply, memories of Rima flooding back to him in a sudden surge of emotion. He knew even as he set foot inside this room that he would be letting himself in for a lot of pain, but he felt the need to remember her every detail, her every word. Perhaps he would be able to find an answer. He felt his heart clench and silent tears rolled down his otherwise expressionless face as he remembered the last few days with Rima.

He searched and searched for an answer but no answer came. He couldn't understand why she would suddenly disappear like that. He didn't know how long he just sat there like that; staring into space, but soon he noticed that the sun was beginning to make its descent into the horizon. He slowly stood up from his spot on the bed and as he did so, he heard a small metallic tinkling noise as something apparently fell from the covers. He bent down and when he rose, there was a silver chain in his palm. Shiki instantly recognised it; he had given it to Rima as a present last Valentine's Day. She had never taken it off since. Suddenly the little spark of hope within Shiki dissipated as though somebody had poured a bucketful of cold water over it. The fact that Rima had taken it off could only signal one thing, couldn't it? But then he noticed the clasp on the necklace … it was broken. Perhaps it had been an accident? Either that or … she had forcefully pulled it off. Shiki didn't want to dwell on that possibility and instead slipped the necklace into his pocket.

When Shiki finally made it home, the evening was already well underway. He quietly unlocked the door and entered in case his mother was already asleep. After locking the door behind him, he saw his mother sitting on the bottom of the staircase, an unfocused look in her eyes. When she heard him enter, her head snapped up and an expression of pure joy settled itself upon her features. She ran towards him like a child and embraced him.

"Oh, Shiki, Shiki, you've come back! I've missed you so much … "

Shiki smiled into her hair and soothingly stroked her back. She had been a famous actress once and her model looks still existed despite her unstable mental condition. It really was a shame. Shiki longed for the days when things had been so simple, when he had felt so loved and his mum had taken care of him. But now it was his turn to take care of her … his childhood had tragically been cut short and he had been forced to grow up to quickly. He regretted not having spent more time in his mother's company back when things were better, but at the same time he was thankful that she still loved him in her own special way and despite her frequent memory lapses, he was never far from her mind.

When Shiki eventually managed to untangle himself from his mother's embrace, he set about brushing her long hair and making sure everything was well. Since he was home now, he allowed the maid a rare evening off and took it on himself to take care of his mother. Soon, she was drifting off and Shiki put her to bed, wishing her sweet dreams. He hoped her dreams would be sweeter than his.

As he lay in bed that night, he let his mind wander, thinking about the next day in an attempt to change the subject of his dreams. Tomorrow, he would have to go to the hospital to pick up more medicine for his mother, as he had noticed she would soon run out. The maid would happily do it when they ran out; but Shiki thought he might as well make himself useful while he was here. Besides, he didn't like the thought of his mother being all alone in the house; she was lonely enough already. The happiness that flooded her eyes whenever he came home made his heart ache because he knew that that happiness wasn't always present. He would stay home with her, but she was adamant that he continued with his education. It was funny how she was so lucid whenever it came to Shiki. He smiled softly to himself.

Soon, Shiki began to drift off and his train of thought was slowly becoming unclear. The happy eyes of his mother began to morph into a pair of sparkling blue irises and he tumbled once again into the realm of unconsciousness, oblivious to what the next day would bring …

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_Thanks for reading! I hope it wasn't too bad, please continue to review! Your support is what keeps me going ^_^ Much love. Suki Yume x_


	4. Nightmares

_A/N: Heya! I'm back again with the next chapter, as promised. Sorry for the delay. Exam time is fast approaching and that means my free time is going to become increasingly limited *sigh* ... but I will try as hard as I can to update at least once a week if possible! This time, I want to thank Satori0013 for your continued support and encouragement! Arigato! ^_^ Please excuse any mistakes! Suki Yume x_

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**Nightmares**

That night was yet another restless night for Shiki. He tossed and turned in his bed, a frown upon his sleeping features as a pair of blue eyes stared intently from behind his closed lids. He searched those blue eyes for an answer, but all he found was silence and withdrawal … and that mysterious glittering … were those tears? Then a voice … _Shiki, I'm sorry … please forgive me … I'm sorry … I'm sorry …_

_What for? What for, Rima?_ Shiki desperately called out to the voice. But there was no answer. There never was. Then that voice began to fade and the blue eyes disappeared. _Don't go, Rima! Don't leave me again … please …_

_Please … _the word was whispered aloud as another pair of blue eyes opened; the lashes clumped together, the pillow wet with tears. Shiki lay on his side, curled in on himself, clutching the duvet tightly as though it would disappear right in front of him. But given Shiki's current state of mind, this didn't seem improbable; something else much more important and essential to his survival had slipped right through his fingers. And he had no idea how to get it back; just that he _had _to get it back. No matter the cost.

He turned away from the cool wet patch on his pillow and stared numbly at the ceiling, taking in his surroundings and slowly settling back into reality. After some time, he remembered his plans to pick up his mother's prescription at the hospital and finally dragged himself out of bed. He showered and dried his hair, making an effort with his appearance for the first time in what seemed to be a very long time. He didn't want his mother to worry about him. She had enough on her plate.

Shiki scrutinised his reflection in the mirror before leaving his room. The cold water he splashed on his face helped to conceal his abnormal paleness. He still looked very tired, but that couldn't be helped. With his brightest smile plastered to his face, he walked out of his room and down the stairs to greet his mother.

His mother was sitting at the table, dreamily staring into space, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She looked well rested and content and Shiki smiled slightly seeing that she was well. He loved his mother dearly and she was the only person who could bring a tiny touch of warmth back into his aching heart. He walked over to her relaxed form and embraced her, planting an affectionate kiss on her cheek.

"Ohayo Okaa-san!"

She turned around, pleasantly surprised and returned his embrace. It was clear that her son brought her a sense of peace and happiness. But as hazy as her thoughts sometimes seemed to be, she picked up a feeling of uneasiness in her son's tense form. He seemed to be hiding something. However, she didn't know how to help him and could only offer comfort through her embrace and hoped that the motherly love and concern she felt for him could be transmitted through the contact.

After informing his mother of his day's plans, Shiki left the house and proceeded to make his way to the hospital. It was quite a fair distance from his house in the suburbs and the journey was long and laborious. He let his mind wander during the bus ride and lost in his musings, he almost missed his stop. Of course, he could have simply asked the chauffer to drive him there, but he would be more inclined to withdraw into his dark world of nightmares if he was alone. The bustling lives of the people around him allowed him to blend in and merge into the mindset that he was simply part of the crowd; and his troubles seemed to fade slightly into the back of his mind. There was always that heavy weight he felt upon him of course, like the air around him was threatening to crush his very existence; but he could pretend, for a little while, that he had a purpose; that he knew what he was doing. Somewhere in the back of his mind; Shiki knew that his little self-appointed task was intended to serve the purpose of giving him something to focus on so that he wouldn't be consumed by that world of darkness that seemed to draw closer with every passing day.

As Shiki entered the building, several doctors and nurses gave him a warm nod and smile. They were pretty familiar with the red-headed boy. He often accompanied his mother to the hospital for her check-ups or to pick up her medicine. The found his devotion and unconditional love for his mother admirable and remarkable. His heart was truly beautiful.

Shiki made his way through the many corridors without any problem and arrived at the ward that his mother frequented. The receptionist smiled at him.

"Hello, Shiki. Have you come to pick up your mother's prescription?"

Shiki nodded, giving her a weak smile.

She noticed the lack of sincerity in that smile; and wondered what had taken the warmth away from those eyes. He wasn't a particularly open person; but if he allowed you into his world, you came to know him as a boy with a warm heart.

"Ah, but your mother's prescription isn't due to be picked up for another week or so. How come you're so early?"

Shiki told her a story about how he was on vacation at the moment and wanted everything to be organised before he went back to school. The receptionist settled for that explanation and didn't ask any further questions, noticing his reluctance to talk. As she worked, she observed the sad aura that clung about the teen. She finally understood what it meant to have a raincloud hovering over you. He looked beaten; isolated in his own world where happiness and warmth couldn't reach.

As she handed over his prescription, she wanted to say something comforting to the boy, but found that she couldn't find the words. She finally settled for a smile and an awkward "take care", hoping that he would heed her message.

With the prescription in hand, Shiki began to make his way towards the exit to the building. The corridors were relatively isolated and the silence and lack of distractions resulted in his gradual retreat back into his troubled inner world. He never was far from that boundary, but the purpose he observed in the people around him let him take a small step back to the safer side, where his nightmares couldn't reach him. Now that the halls were devoid of life, he felt a force nudge him forwards, towards that boundary that beckoned to him constantly.

Lost in his inner battle, Shiki didn't notice he had taken a wrong turn until he found himself in an unfamiliar corridor. This corridor apparently held the private rooms, where each patient had their own room as opposed to a shared ward. Most of the doors were closed and the shutters drawn, presumably because the occupants didn't want to be disturbed. He saw another door at the bottom of the corridor, leading back into the main hall, so he proceeded to make his way towards it. On his way, he noticed that one of the doors was not closed and out of curiosity, he peered into the room, wondering what the private wards were like. His mother had never stayed in one before; Shiki had thought she would feel too lonely in a room by herself. But now that he looked around the room, it didn't actually feel that bad. It looked quite comfortable and homely and there was a balcony overlooking a beautiful public garden. It felt quite peaceful and it lulled Shiki into a comforting feeling of security.

This was when Shiki noticed the movement on the balcony. He had originally assumed that this was an empty room due to the open door and shutters; but apparently he had been wrong. The occupant had been standing so still that in Shiki's distracted state, he had missed them. But now they moved and the sunlight streaming in from the balcony directed a copper glint towards Shiki. His heart skipped a beat. _It couldn't be, could it?_

But before he could finish this thought, the figure swayed and Shiki rushed towards them, assuming they had lost their balance and intending to help steady them.

A fragile body fell into his arms and blue eyes widened slightly before they closed and the body went limp in his hold.

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_Thank yuu everyone who has read this and I hope you enjoyed it! Please keep reviewing! ^_^ Much love, Suke Yume x_


	5. Destroying Me From Within

_A/N: Heya! I'm back with the nxt chapter as promised. ^_^ Sorry for the delay and sorry that this chappie is kinda short. But hey, I realli wanted to keep my promise and have it up for this weekend ... and this chapter is the long-awaited answer to your questions. ^.~ I want to say a big thank you to -Letters from Silent Heaven- and Hellopanda23 for reviewing and/or fave-ing this story and an extra big thank you to Satori0013 and to Catinca for both your continued support! *huggles* Well I think I've rambled enough for now, I hope you'll continue to enjoy this and plz excuse any mistakes! x_

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**Destroying Me From Within**

Shiki sat next to a hospital bed, staring numbly at the still figure lying upon it. His head ached and the eternal weight he felt pressing upon him, threatening to suffocate him, seemed to have become heavier. He wondered how much longer he could remain standing before it crushed him completely. He didn't know what to think anymore; he didn't know what to feel. The events of the previous day came flooding back to him as he leaned forwards onto the hospital bed, pillowing his head on his folded arms.

_There was copper. A shining flicker of copper. His heart leapt up in his chest, hoping, praying that his eyes weren't deceiving him, even as his brain told him to stop being so stupid. But it seemed his heart won over his head. He began to slowly approach the figure, when suddenly it swayed and he reached out to steady it, only to have it fall weakly into his arms. The eyes … those midnight blue eyes … they would haunt him forever. They showed so much pain, so much loneliness and lifelessness. It was as if … Shiki shuddered at the thought … it was as if they were waiting for death to claim them._

Presently, Shiki lifted his head slightly to look at those eyes. They were closed; the haunting eyes concealed behind the lids. As much as they frightened him, Shiki found himself willing them to open again, wishing to be consumed by their bottomless depths. Perhaps somewhere along the way, as he was falling into their entrancing void, he would find an answer to his questions.

That one startled look she had given him before unconsciousness claimed her spoke volumes. Through that one look, Shiki was told so much more than she had ever told him voluntarily. Seeing them made so many different emotions run through his body, as though he was connected to a live wire: happiness, shock, pain … but as they closed, panic and fear overtook him.

_The following five minutes were hectic and unclear. Shiki remembered calling for help, cradling the lifeless body in his arms. Then the body was taken from him and connected up to all kinds of machines, while Shiki was left standing at the sidelines, stunned and feeling utterly useless. He wished he could do something, anything, to help. He would trade his life for the one in front of him. He would make any sacrifice necessary if only he could ease her pain. But life was not that easy. _

_It was a good half an hour before the doctors and nurses were sure she was in a stabilised condition. Later, a nurse had explained that if Shiki had not walked in at that precise moment, she could have died. Died … Shiki struggled to comprehend that fact. He didn't know what he would do if that had really happened. Perhaps he would have gone the same way … tried to go after the one who owned his life._

_The nurses had told him that Rima had a brain tumour. Like a blow to the chest, he finally understood why Rima had been acting the way she was. Being the selfless, loving person that she was, she had tried to spare him the pain. But how could she not realise that leaving him like that, hiding something like this from him like that, would bring him far more pain than if she had allowed him to fight through it by her side?_

Shiki found tears streaming down his cheeks at this point and he furiously tried to wipe them away with his sleeve. His eyes travelled over the resting features, noting their peacefulness. If Shiki had not known better, he would have assumed she was simply asleep. But he knew otherwise: she had been asleep for at least a day now. Shiki found himself envying her peacefulness: he wished he too could fall into such a deep, oblivious sleep where reality couldn't touch him.

_The remainder of that day was spent next to the bed, watching the body intensely for any sign of consciousness and keeping a scrutinising eye on the machines, wary of any changes. The constant beeping of the heart monitor served as a source of comfort for Shiki; perhaps it was the only thing that managed to keep him sane and help him through that day. It had been one of the longest days of his life and he continued to guard the body all through the night, never leaving the bedside except when absolutely necessary. _

Shiki couldn't believe that only a day had passed. It seemed like he had spent an eternity observing the still figure and still she continued to sleep. The nurses tried to assure Shiki that she was "only resting" in an attempt to console him, but he knew the truth. She was in a coma. And a coma could last anywhere from a day to a month, a year, several years … or she might never wake up. Shiki refused to let himself fall into that mindset. It would destroy him completely.

_Rima, you're going to wake up, aren't you? You must._

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_Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! Please please review, they never fail to make me smile. ^_^ Suki Yume x_


	6. Shattered Dreams

_A/N: Hey, here's your weekly update. I almost didn't manage it because I've had such a busy weekend, but here it is! ^_^ I hope you'll enjoy it. I want to say a big big thank you to Darkrusnik05, GingaDensetsuHoney and Monsterousmaiden64 for adding this to your story alert lists / fave stories / adding me to your list of fave authors! It made me so happy. ^_^ And of course, a big thank you to Satori0013 for your reviews and support! Please continue to read and enjoy this and excuse any dumb mistakes!_

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**Shattered Dreams**

Exhaustion finally took its toll on Shiki as he fell asleep leaning on the edge of the bed, his fingers intertwined intimately with those of Rima. It seemed his reuniting with Rima had brought with it a new dimension to his nightmares: a dark and deadly world of pain and loss. He saw everything he wanted to see: sparkling blue eyes, a beautiful smile, long copper locks shining in the sunlight … but then the sun would disappear and his world would be consumed by darkness, a dark, empty void where nothing existed apart from his pain and grief. He became so afraid; afraid that he would never be able to see the light again, _never be able to see her face again. _In his dream, he saw a tunnel of light ahead of him, and in that fast retreating tunnel of light, the figure of Rima steadily walking away from him. He tried to shout to her, but no sound came out. He tried to run towards her, but the faster he ran, the faster the tunnel retreated. She continued to walk away until she was just a distant speck surrounded by a window of light, oblivious to Shiki's fear and pain.

Then suddenly, warmth surrounded his aching heart and healed the scars and the darkness was lit by a soft glow. Then he heard a voice, _her voice_, reassuring him, telling him everything was okay. He felt a connection that ran through his body, soothing his fears and banishing the pain, until he was shrouded in warmth and comfort that lulled him into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Before he allowed himself to surrender to the warmth that beckoned to him, he directed a plea towards the voice, asking it not to leave him. And even in his unconsciousness, he knew that the voice had answered his prayers: in that world where darkness could no longer reach him, he could still feel that connection; feel that warmth that channelled life through his body and soothed his tired soul.

Gradually, he started to rise from his slumber and as he started to awaken, he could still feel that soothing connection. But suddenly, it withdrew its healing touch and he jolted awake, blue eyes snapping open as he tried to re-establish that connection.

He had to blink several times to adjust to the light that assaulted his eyes and made his vision blurry. He brought his hands up to his eyes and tried to rub the sleep from them. The sun was bright and high in the sky, which meant he must have been asleep for a good half day. This was highly unusual, especially given that normally, he was very lucky if he managed to get a few hours of troubled sleep. Uninterrupted sleep that was not plagued by haunting dreams, however, was unimaginable to Shiki. And yet it had happened.

Then as his vision cleared, he froze. There, sitting in front of him, was none other than the girl that owned his heart. Rima was sitting propped up by a couple of pillows with a smile upon her pale face. Shiki couldn't help but catch the hint of sadness in her smile.

"Rima? Rima! You're awake! How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you know how worried I was? Don't … don't ever do that to me again!"

His words failed him at this point as he hurled himself towards Rima, enveloping her in a tight embrace, tears streaming down his face. Rima didn't respond for a second, before she hesitatingly lifted her arms and returned his embrace. Shiki felt a warm drip fall onto his shoulder, quickly followed by another and another: Rima was crying too.

"Ne, how do you expect me to answer all those questions?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

Those words were music to his ears. He hadn't heard her voice in so long and her soft voice was like a soothing balm upon his scarred heart.

"Just start with the first one. How are you feeling?" he replied, smiling softly as well.

"I'm okay, just finding it a little bit hard to breathe with a big teddy bear suffocating me …" she said, letting out a soft laugh.

Shiki laughed, pulling back slightly to look at her. She looked tired and pale, but it was definitely an improvement from the lifelessness he had observed in her before. Her indigo eyes were still as beautiful as ever; sparkling gently from her tears and swirling with emotions. Shiki thought he detected restraint and sadness in her gaze amongst other things, and this confused him, but he decided to let the matter drop. Hopefully things would begin to improve over the next couple of days.

They continued to chat idly for the remainder of the day, mainly talking about the past and the recent happenings at Cross Academy. Strictly speaking, Shiki did most of the talking and Rima sat and added a comment of acknowledgement here and there. Shiki tried not to approach the subject of Rima's illness or her departure, trying to keep the conversation as normal as possible and preserve the moment of happiness. He justified that there would be time for that later on. As darkness approached, Shiki realised that he had been at the hospital for almost three days now and his mother must be very distressed and worried. He didn't want to leave, but he figured that it would probably be a good idea to check on his mother. He told Rima this, and promised to return the next day to see her.

Rima smiled and wished him a good night. Shiki thought the look of sadness and pain in her gaze intensified slightly as she said goodbye. His heart clenched slightly at seeing this, and he wished he could erase her pain. He leaned down and embraced her again, before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, whispering "take care".

As he rose, he noticed Rima did not meet his gaze and instead sat silently, staring at the blanket in her lap as her hand clenched into a fist around the material. He was worried that she wasn't feeling well again and was about to voice his concern when she lifted her head and smiled bravely, seeming to have read his thoughts.

"Ne, Shiki, I'm fine. Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow."

Shiki returned her smile then made his way out of the ward after saying one last goodbye. He paused outside the ward, wishing to savour the moment. Back inside the ward, he heard a nurse cheerfully talking to Rima.

"He cares so much about you. You're so lucky to have him as a boyfriend!"

Shiki held his breath as he waited for Rima's reply. She didn't answer for a moment, then Shiki thought he heard her sob.

"I-I've tried ... so hard ... but I don't ... I can't remember him ... "

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_Hope you enjoyed reading this and will continue to show your support - it's a sure way of brightening my day! ^.~ Much love, Suki Yume x_


	7. Running From Reality

_A/N: Guess who? =3 Yes, I'm FINALLY back with the next chapter. I'm so so sorry about the wait, if any of u have read my Valentine's story (Dark Chocolate) u would know about my problems with the computer. It died again after I posted Dark Chocolate (how annoying is that?) but it's finally fixed now *yay!* so hopefully I'll be back to my regular-ish updates. Also, I've had exams lately so they've taken up a lot of my time. *sigh* Gomen ne! Well enough rambling, I just wanna say my very quick thank yous to: Satori0013 (as usual ^^) and Cantinca for reviewing, and MidnightRose01 for faving, reviewing AND adding this to your story alerts! *huggles* Okay, I'll be shutting up now. XD Please excuse any mistakes!_

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**Running From Reality**

The world seemed to have collapsed once more around Shiki. He stood there, frozen to the spot, pain, shock and disbelief gripping his heart and suffocating him. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't deal with this again. A million different questions whirled around his head, all becoming a big jumble of meaningless confusion and preventing him from forming a single coherent thought. Then instinct took over, and he found himself running away from the ward, running away from those heart-wrenching sobs and the person who uttered those agonizing words. If only everything was that easy to run away from.

Shiki was lucky that it was late at night and the corridors were deserted, otherwise in his blind confusion he may have caused some accidents. He didn't know where he was running to, nor did he know what he was running from, because as far as he could see, there was no escape. Some small logical part of him whispered the truth he didn't want to face: there was no running from reality. He knew he had to face this somehow, no matter how painful it was, but the problem was he just didn't know _how_. Whenever his mind approached that memory, he immediately recoiled in pain, as though he had been burnt. It tore his heart out and pushed him to the verge of breaking down. Right now, Shiki's mind was too numb to form any coherent decision and he simply let instinct take over, and presently, his instinct was telling him to run, as fast as he could, as far as his legs could carry him.

A while later, Shiki found himself doubled over at the side of a lake, panting harshly as he tried to regain his breath. His legs felt weak from running, in fact, his whole body felt weak, although for a different reason altogether. He felt so tired, so weak and so exhausted from his experiences and once again he found himself wishing for that oblivious, dreamless sleep that Rima had recently awoken from. He knew it was foolish to wish for such a thing, but he could think of no other means of escaping. He sank down onto his knees beside the lake and gazed out at the sparkling water. The night seemed so calm, so serene yet so indifferent, oblivious to his inner turmoil. The sparkling dark waters reminded him of a certain pair of eyes, and he closed his own eyes, surrendering to the memories. The cool night air bathed over him, enveloping him in its mysterious, cold embrace. Inevitably, Rima's last words came flooding back to him and they replayed in his mind, like a demented mantra. He didn't realize he was crying until the little droplets fell onto his trousers. He stared numbly at the darkening patch on his leg and then he was consumed by a wild flurry of emotions: anger at himself for being so weak and useless … pain from the loss of Rima … resentment of fate for being so cruel … His hands fumbled on the bank beside him and he picked up a pebble, clenching his fist around it and feeling the cold, hard, unyielding stone bite into his palm. Then he raised his arm and hurled the rock into the lake, as hard as he could. He heard the satisfying splash and saw the ripples on the water surface as the pebble made contact. He felt a strange sense of comfort from that; perhaps it had something to do with the fact that nature no longer seemed so indifferent and calm while he was breaking apart inside. He bent down and picked up another pebble, repeating the action, trying to transfer his pain into the cold emotionless rock as he threw it into the deep waters, never to arise again.

Soon, he was physically exhausted and he sank down onto the bank, drawing his knees up to his chest against the cool night air. His mind felt a bit clearer now and he tried to decide what to do. He suddenly remembered his original plan to go home and see his mother. He sighed. He really had to try to get himself together before he went home. It would only serve to make her worry more if she saw him in this state. He slowly rose from the bank and began to make his way home, walking slowly and trying to force his pain deep into the back of his mind and lock it away. He was lucky that instinct took him to a familiar place. It used to be one of Shiki and Rima's regular haunts. The waters were so beautiful in summer, a sparkling clear blue that was reflected in Rima's eyes. In winter, the lake often froze over, the surrounding trees dusted in powdery snow and transforming the scene into a beautiful winter wonderland. The last time he had been here at night was also with Rima. They had lain under the dark velvet sky and traced constellations with their fingers, like playing a game of dot-to-dot. How he envied that freedom and innocence …

On his way home, he passed the jewellers where he had bought Rima's necklace. His hand slipped into his pocket and he wrapped his hand around the cool metal. It felt somehow reassuring. He pulled the necklace out of his pocket and dangled it in front of him, admiring how the moonlight and street lights played with the blue crystal, making it shimmer like a light in the darkness. And suddenly he saw a way.

The next day, he would take the necklace to the jewellers to get it fixed. Then, he would return it to Rima. He would pretend he didn't overhear anything. After all, he had only heard that one broken sentence before he ran away; maybe there was something else he didn't hear, something significant. Maybe he misinterpreted her. She had hugged him after all, and she knew who he was. Maybe he was mistaken.

Shiki smiled shakily into the darkness, placing the necklace carefully back into his pocket. It was serving as his lifeline, his anchor at the moment. He had to believe there was still hope. With this thought in mind, Shiki continued on his way home, trying to keep a hold of his fast dissipating optimism even while some small, persistent part of him pointed out his foolishness.

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_Thank you for reading ... I'll hopefully be posting the next chapter soon, please bear with me! Keep reviewing, you're my motivation to keep on writing ^^ Much love, Suki Yume x_


	8. Dreaded Words

_A/N: Ohayo! Yep, I'm back with the next update. I managed to meet my target for a chapter a week again! Yay! ^_^ Anyways, just a quick (but very much heartfelt) thank you to xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx for the review! *big huggles* As usual, please excuse my clumsiness and any stupid mistakes! Enjoy! (Although that might not be the right word for the recent chapters ... =\)_

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**Dreaded Words**

Shiki awoke the next day with a surprising sense of optimism. The sun was casting a golden glow upon the surroundings, gentle yet beautiful. It was such a contrast to the previous night and the soft light helped to counteract some of the darkness that had settled in his heart. He managed to suppress that darkness even as he made his way to the hospital in the early morning sunlight, passing by the jewellers to get Rima's necklace fixed. Outside the jewellers, he paused and held the necklace out in front of him again, as though examining it for any changes. He found none; the blue stone sparkled brighter than ever and produced tiny rainbows in the sunlight. He smiled then closed his hand protectively around it before returning it to the safety of his pocket.

It wasn't long before he arrived at the large glass doors of the hospital. He confidently made his way up to the level where Rima was staying, but he found himself hesitating at the entrance to the ward. The memory of his last experience here came back in a violent flood, and he almost turned and fled if it wasn't for the nurse that saw him and tried to offer her help.

"Ah, you must be looking for Rima?"

It was the same nurse that had been talking to Rima the night before; Shiki recognised her voice. However, the cheerfulness she had displayed the previous night seemed to have disappeared as she spoke to him. Her smile looked sympathetic and her eyes seemed full of sadness.

Shiki hesitantly nodded; he couldn't trust himself to speak. The atmosphere was crushing him and all kinds of unpleasant scenarios were flitting about his head as his eyes scanned frantically around the ward, looking for any trace of Rima.

The nurse noticed his anxiety and suddenly realised what he must be thinking.

"Don't worry, she's fine. Since she's now in a much more stable condition, we moved her back to her private room." She quickly reassured him.

A flood of relief ran through Shiki and it showed on his face. The nurse smiled, although rather uneasily. Shiki didn't like the signals she was giving off. It was quickly destroying his optimism.

Nevertheless, Shiki made his way to the room where he had first seen Rima since she left Cross Academy. Shiki peered in the window, quickly finding her slim silhouette against the sunlit balcony. She was leaning over it again, apparently admiring the scenery below. A sense of déjà-vu consumed Shiki and he was filled with apprehension. Some part of his mind replayed the image of the lifeless figure falling into his arms and he started to panic. However, Rima remained standing, the sunlight playing with her copper locks. Shiki cleared his throat.

Rima started slightly at the sound and turned, blue eyes widening as she saw her unexpected visitor.

"... Shiki?"

"Ohayo. Why are you so surprised? I did say I would visit, didn't I?" He smiled, trying to force his nerves to back down.

Rima sighed softly, turning around to face the balcony again, hiding her face from him.

"Shiki ... there's something you must know. Gomen ne ... "Her voice shook slightly as she spoke and Shiki heard her take in a deep breath.

He had a feeling this was something he didn't want to hear. He wanted to stop her, to tell her not to shatter his dream and to let him keep living in his world of delusional reality. He wanted to run again or to put his hands over his ears like a rebellious child. And yet all he could do was stand there, trying to brace himself for the blow which he knew was coming.

"... When I woke up, I found you asleep next to me, holding my hand ... I felt very confused ... I didn't know what happened, but for some reason, I felt very safe with you next to me..." She paused to take in another shaky breath. "But I-I ... didn't know who you were." Shiki's heart shattered as he heard those dreaded words, all optimism failing him as he sank heavily onto the edge of the bed.

"The nurses told me you had been there with me the whole time and you were so worried about me you hardly slept ... I'm sorry ... I tried, I tried so hard. I saw the flowers and presents and photos on the bedside table. The photo of us ... I knew you were someone important. My heart was telling me that, but I-I couldn't remember." The final sentence was a broken whisper that Shiki just managed to catch.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I've tried so hard to remember. I've tried everything. I thought that it would all come back with time ... and it would all be okay when you woke up ... but you were like a stranger to me. Every word you said tore me up inside. Every look you gave me ... that concern and-and love ... I felt so useless ... I've never felt so useless before, Shiki ..."

By this time, she had to stop from the tears threatening to choke her. Shiki wasn't much better, staring numbly at his lap as tear after tear rolled down his cheek to add to the quickly darkening patch on this leg.

"Don't-don't say that, Rima. It'll all be okay. It'll all be okay with time. You're not useless, and you'll never be in my eyes. Stay strong for me, please..." Shiki pleaded desperately, raising his head from his lap to stare earnestly at the back of her head, willing her to turn around and meet his gaze.

She remained in the same position, much to Shiki's dismay, and shook her head.

"It's no use, Shiki. It's too late. Maybe-maybe this is fate's will. Maybe we're not meant to be together ..."

"No. No! Don't ever say that!" Shiki exploded, before adding calmly, quietly, "If we're not meant to be together, I don't know where I'm meant to be ... "

Fresh tears poured anew down Rima's cheeks as she caught his sincere, heartfelt words.

"... Stay strong for me, ne, Shiki?" She said softly. "How can I be strong if you can't be?" She came to kneel in front of Shiki's hunched figure, gently tilting his head up to look at her.

"Make me a promise ... let's both try to go our separate ways. If we're really meant to be together, then I believe that fate will bring us together once more." Her final sentence was said with a surprising sureness and steadiness, despite the tears that still rolled down her cheeks.

Shiki began to shake his head.

"I can't, Rima! I can't! Can't you see this is where I belong? Give me a chance. You'll remember; I know you will!"

Rima cupped his face in her hands, smiling gently.

"But you can, Shiki. And I _am_ giving you a chance. I want to be apart, so that I have more time to remember. Seeing you like this ... it really tears me up. Maybe I will remember. In the meantime, I need you to try to move on. If we're meant to be together, then we will be one day. Forget about me until then, ne, Shiki?"

"Never, Rima. I could never forget you. Don't ask me to do something like that."

More tears streamed down both their faces.

"Then just try to move on. Give me some time. If fate has something planned for us, then surely it will happen." The steadiness in her voice was impressive, given the emotional wreck that had become of her. It almost made Shiki believe in her words.

Shiki left soon after, trying to weigh up his options. Before he left however, he noticed the empty jewellery box on her bedside table and opened it, placing the necklace back inside. He wanted to leave some part of him to guard over her while he was gone. He closed the box over, closing a shaking fist around it and closing his eyes to stem the tears threatening to escape, before placing it gently back down into its original position on the beside table. Before he exited the room, he turned and murmured quietly a few earnest words to the figure that had resumed its position at the balcony.

"Sayonara, Rima-chan. I'll be waiting." He missed the quiet sob that was his answer.

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_Thank you so much for reading ... please keep reviewing and showing your support! Arigato! Lots and lots of love, Suki Yume. x_


	9. Whispers From the Heart

_A/N: Ohayo! New chapter as promised. ^^ This chapter is pretty long, I'm trying to make up for not updating for so long. =3 This is a pretty important chapter, you'll get some unexpected answers to questions that some of you have asked a couple of chapters ago. ^_^ I want to say a quick (but heartfelt) thank you to Satori0013 and Catinca for both of your constant support, to xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx for your review and to i'llgetyouback for faving and adding this to your story alert list. I'm sorry if I missed anyone, I didn't mean to! As usual, excuse any stupidity and please enjoy! ^^  
_

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**Whispers From the Heart**

No matter how hard he tried, he could not let go. Even while his mind logically and clearly stated that continuing like this would lead to no good, his heart stubbornly refused to listen and continued to yearn for the person that it had loved for so long. It was as though he had become so used to loving Rima that it was now an integrated part of him, and without it, he was lost. Something was missing inside him. He didn't know what to do with himself and so he continued to cling onto that feeling, even as it tangibly slipped through his fingers like sand.

And so, he continued to frequent the hospital, standing guard in his self-appointed position outside her door, too scared to enter, too scared to leave. He stood their day after day, haunting the corridor outside her room, watching his copper-haired angel through the glass partition that separated them like the barrier between their hearts. She spent a lot of the time on the balcony, staring down at the garden below, seeming to be in a world far away. Other times, she would appear to be reading, seeming to be lost in thought. Shiki often wondered what she was thinking. Did he ever cross her mind? Because she never left his mind. Not once.

Watching her seemed to give him a sense of peace. Perhaps some part of him had begun to accept that they couldn't be together for the moment, and making sure she was alright seemed to be a good alternative. He honestly didn't know. All he knew was that he now saw it as his job to guard her, and it gave him a purpose.

The nurses around him looked at him sympathetically, not daring to ask him to leave. The boy seemed so determined yet so broken. It often stunned them to witness the strength of the love radiating from the boy. Perhaps love really did surpass everything else.

Rima often seemed to glance in the direction of the room window, and Shiki would feel an internal battle: half of him willing her to notice him, the other half panicking and hoping she wouldn't see him. On the rare occasions when the former won and he stood his ground, he would search those blue eyes for any sign of acknowledgement. Most times, he found none. Her eyes were blank and unseeing. However, once or twice he thought he saw a glimmer of something, a sudden swirl of emotions before they were once again suppressed by the blank mask. But he could never be sure.

On this particular day, Shiki arrived at his usual haunt to find Rima curled up on the bed, fast asleep. She was lying on her side with her copper hair spread out over her pillow, wearing a long white nightdress and cuddling her teddy bear. Shiki couldn't help but smile at the angelic, innocent image she made and she reminded him so much of the little girl he once knew. He also felt a pang of emotion as he saw the way she clung onto the stuffed toy, embracing it tightly. Perhaps if she was so attached to the teddy bear, she knew it held significance? Perhaps she remembered a little tiny bit about him?

Shiki shook his head free of the thought, knowing it was no use pondering such questions. Only time would tell. He reached over the bed and pulled the covers over Rima, tucking her in like a little girl. As he did so, he noticed a little book fell out of the blankets. He picked it up, seating himself in the chair beside the bed and starting to thumb through the pages, curious as to what held Rima's attention for so much of the time. He froze. This was no novel. The pages inside were neatly inscribed with Rima's own handwriting. It appeared to be some sort of diary. Shiki couldn't help but feel intrusive simply for opening the book, and was about to return it, when his name caught his attention. Feeling guilty but unable to stop himself, he started to read on.

_Ne, Shiki _

_I just found out some bad news today. I don't know how much longer I have on this world. And I can't bring myself to tell you this. I can't hurt you, Shiki. I wish you could understand. So I'll keep this diary and write down everything I can't say to you. Maybe one day you'll be able to understand. Until then, I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I'm really sorry Shiki, but this is going to the beginning of a long and painful journey, for both of us. But I think it's for the best. Please don't hate me..._

Shiki looked up from the page, looking at the still figure on the bed with forlorn eyes. So this was what kept her occupied for so long. He flipped the pages, scanning the next entries.

_Shiki,_

_Today was horrible. The way you've been looking at me these past few weeks has been tearing me apart, but I wasn't prepared for what it would be like to be forced to leave you. You don't know how much I miss your smile. In fact, I miss everything about you. Why is life so cruel? I'm always thinking about all the things that could have been, all the laughs that we could have shared, all the memories we could have made together. And then everything comes crashing back to reality and I realise all the things that I've lost. I tried to leave without you knowing. I didn't think I could face you one last time. I was scared that if I looked at you one more time, I would fall apart and I wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. Every time you look at me with that sadness in your eyes, I want to make it all go away. But I can't, Shiki. Because I'm the one that's causing that sadness. So the best thing is for me to go away. Maybe you'll be able to smile again. You'll learn to move on. Time heals all wounds, right?_

Shiki closed his eyes tightly, trying to stem the tears that were trying to escape. _No, Rima. You're wrong. A broken heart will never heal completely._ He was stunned to learn that behind that cool, calm facade that Rima had put on at Cross Academy, she was falling apart just as badly as him. He flicked through a couple more pages as it suddenly dawned on him that if Rima was reading this, then she must be trying to remember.

_I wonder how you're doing, Shiki? I was hospitalised today. It looks like the tumour in my brain has gotten bigger. The nurses say I could lose my consciousness at any time and it will be very dangerous if I'm not under constant surveillance. I miss my room. At least I had memories of you there and I could pretend that you were still close to me. The walls here are so blank and it feels so empty. I feel like I've been shut up in a room full of nothingness. But I guess I shouldn't complain. I have my own room here, and there's a balcony with a beautiful garden. The sakura trees are in full blossom right now and the garden is full of pink petals floating all around. I wish you were here to see it with me. Remember how we used to sit under the sakura trees? It would feel like we were in our own little world, like being inside a snow globe, only instead of snow, the little pink petals would whirl all around us. I was so happy back then. Now I look at those petals and dream of the times when we were together. I hope you're doing okay. Have you learned to smile again, Shiki?_

This entry made him smile a bittersweet smile. He did remember those times, very clearly. It was one of the many memories that constantly haunted him. When the cherry blossom trees started to bloom at Cross Academy, he often went outside and sat under its beautiful pink canopy and watched the little petals as they were carried off into the distance by the gentle breeze. He would catch a petal in the palm of his hand and think of Rima, before letting it be swept away by the wind and fantasising that the petal would carry its message to wherever Rima was. His heart ached, but he couldn't give up now. Rima had written a diary entry every single day, every single one dedicated to him. It filled him with a love so overwhelmingly deep that he felt it consume him entirely. Yet the pain was equally excruciating. Bearing his own pain was hard enough; now he had the weight of both their pain pushing down on him. As he flipped the page, he noticed that she hadn't written a new entry for a couple of days. The next entry was three days after the last.

_Shiki, is this fate? When I left Cross Academy all those months ago, I never thought I'd ever see you again. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. You were meant to forget about me and move on. You deserve a chance at a happy life. And when I look at you now, I believe this all the more. You look so tired and broken, and it scares me. It seems the nurses were right and I really did collapse. Right before I lost consciousness, I saw your face. I thought that I was dreaming. I didn't believe it was true. But when I woke up again, you were by my side. Before I woke up, I was trapped in this darkness and I felt so lost. But then I felt a warmth that was so different from the coldness I felt before, and it was as though I walked towards it. Then when I woke up, you were there, holding my hand. I think you woke me up, Shiki. I felt you. Even while you're sleeping, you seem to be in pain. I'm sorry, Shiki. But just there, I held your hand again, and I think you relaxed. I think I saw you smile. I haven't seen your smile in so long, Shiki. You deserve to smile so much more. Since I've woken up, I've sat here and thought this over very clearly. I'm going to have to hurt you once more Shiki, but I promise I'll try to make it quick. I know it'll be hard, but it's for the best. I need to think that you'll have a chance of happiness sometime in the future._

Shiki froze suddenly. This entry ... it was when she woke up from her coma. She must've written it when he was still asleep. This must mean ... Rima was lying? She did remember him. She must remember him, if she wrote this, right? Desperate for some answers, Shiki flipped the pages frantically until he came to the last entry. She must've been writing this entry before she fell asleep.

_Why, Shiki? You still continue to come. Why won't you give up? I know you're there, even though you try to hide. You need to let go of the past for a chance of a better future. Don't you know that? I think you believe me, I think you believe I've really forgotten you, but if that's the case, then why do you still keep coming? I want you - no I need you, to have a chance at a happy future. You can't have that hovering outside my door, don't you see that? I see you there every day, and you're there first thing in the morning till last thing at night. Sometimes I wonder if you sleep outside my door too. Are you even taking care of yourself properly, Shiki? Do you remember what I always told you? You have to love yourself more. Soon I won't be here to love you anymore, and it'll be up to you. The headaches are getting worse lately, and they're coming more and more often. The doctors tell me I don't have long left. I don't want you to see me when the time comes, Shiki. It will bring you so much pain that you don't need, that you don't deserve, if you keep going like this. For my sake, and for your own sake, please move on. Whenever I see you hovering outside my door, it's like a war takes place between my heart and my head. I feel disappointed that you still haven't moved on, but my heart is filled with hope and happiness because you still care. I feel so glad when I see you standing there now. I want to see you one more time before I leave this world. I want you to be my final memory of this world. And most of all, I want to see you smile one more time. I know I'm being really selfish. I'm sorry. I always seem to be a contradicting mess nowadays. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm scared, Shiki. Every time I close my eyes, I'm scared that it will be the last time I'll ever see you. I'm scared that every time you leave will be the last time you'll come. Please don't stop coming, Shiki... _

Tears ran freely down pale porcelain cheeks. Shiki looked at the girl lying so still on the bed and made a promise:

_I won't, Rima. I'll never leave you._

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_Thank you so much to everyone that has read this. Please leave a review. You guys are my motivation and my inspiration! Much love, Suki Yume. x_


	10. Give Me Hope

_A/N: Ohayo! Here's the weekly update. ^^ I want to say a big big thank you to everyone who reviewed / responded in some way to the story last week, (that's to: Cinnamon, MidnightRose01, Satori0013, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, and pumpkin girl *huggles* Love you guys! ^_^) I think it was the most reviews I've ever gotten in one day! Arigato ne! ^_^ I was realli surprised and touched. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this. Things are starting to look a little bit brighter for our beloved couple, but things are still rather shaky yet! As always, please excuse any dumbness on my part ... I can't help it ... *blushes*_

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**Give Me Hope**

Shiki stared at the book in his lap, the page becoming a meaningless blur as fresh tears filled his eyes and clouded his vision. He didn't know what to think anymore; didn't know what to believe, but one thing was certain: he couldn't lose her. Wiping the tears hastily with the back of his hand, he closed the little book and returned it to Rima's side on the bed. He couldn't bear to read any more. Every word shattered his broken heart just that little bit more and to be quite honest, he was afraid. Afraid of discovering more locked-away secrets that would jeopardise his situation even more.

Taking a moment to collect himself, he rose shakily from the chair next to Rima's sleeping figure and exited the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Outside in the corridor, he approached a nearby nurse, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed around his throat.

"... E-excuse me ..." His voice was just a broken whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"I was wondering if you could help me ... "

The nurse turned in the direction of the voice and smiled, albeit a little sadly at the teenage boy standing in front of her.

"Yes, how can I help you?" The nurse was sure that there was no way she could truly help him. She knew about the situation with him and Rima. In fact, she was the one that was responsible for Rima, although judging by his unfocused gaze; she doubted Shiki had any recollection of this.

"... It's-it's about Rima. I want to know if there's any way ... to help her." He wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. "Help" seemed to be such an inadequate word. He wanted to give her so much more. He wanted to take away all her pain and replace it with happiness, wipe away all her tears and replace them with a smile, to let her live the life that she deserved.

The nurse's eyes softened with sympathy as she realised he must have figured out Rima's secret. She wasn't sure how to reply.

"She's dying, isn't she?" The anguished whisper brought her out of her musings and she made up her mind, pulling him into an empty room behind them.

"Come in here a moment." She closed the door behind them, gesturing to Shiki to sit down in a seat in front of a wooden desk. It appeared to be some sort of consultation room. Shiki obeyed, sitting down rigidly in the soft chair. The nurse sat opposite him, avoiding his gaze as she rolled a pen back and forth between her fingers.

"The answer is yes. Yes, she is dying... " She glanced up as she heard him exhale a shaky breath. She suspected he already knew the answer, yet the confirmation seemed to come as another blow to his already broken spirit.

"But, there's still a way ..."

Shiki looked up at her on hearing this, new hope glistening in his eyes. The expression tugged at her heartstrings and her eyes were slightly moist as she continued.

"Technically, I'm not supposed to be telling you any of this, because of hospital policy and privacy ... but I know how much Rima means to you. Rima can still be saved if she has an operation to remove the tumour. But if she waits much longer, that might not be possible anymore."

Shiki's eyes widened slightly at the information.

"Then why hasn't she had the operation yet?"

The nurse sighed. "I've tried –we all have – to convince her. We've told her about it time and time again, but she still refuses. She knows she could die at any moment but it seems she'd rather live with that fact than undergo the operation. I don't know why. She won't tell me. I was hoping you'd try. She's such a lovely girl ... I can't stand watching her waste away like this!"

Shiki was a little bit surprised at the outburst, but what was more surprising was the new information he had just acquired. _Why wouldn't she have the operation?_

He nodded his head stiffly. "Of course I'll try ... "

As he stood and headed for the door, he turned and smiled at the nurse.

"Arigato ..."

She returned his smile, moisture forming in her eyes. When he had closed the door, she let her head drop to the table, pillowing her forehead in her arms. She couldn't help the sick feeling forming in her stomach and she was now faced with a serious moral dilemma. Had she made the right decision?

It wasn't long before Shiki arrived back at the door to Rima's ward. It seemed she had woken up while he had been talking to the nurse. She was now once again sitting on the balcony, cross-legged, with her teddy bear hugged to her chest.

He pushed the door open gently. She didn't appear to hear him through the balcony doors. Through the gap in the door, he heart faint murmurings.

"... Ne, Kuma-chan ... I wonder where Shiki is? I hope he's okay ... "

Shiki smiled as he realised she was talking to her teddy bear. It seemed she had never really grown up. Hearing these words confirmed for him that she really did remember. For some reason, even the words written so clearly in black and white in her diary weren't enough to convince him entirely. But hearing her say his name ... it gave him a new feeling of hope.

As he walked past, he picked up the blanket lying discarded at the foot of the bed. Rima hadn't even noticed his presence yet as he stood at the other side of the glass doors and observed her. The sunlight streamed softly into the balcony and played with her copper locks, while the gentle breeze caressed the silky strands. Placing his hand against the cool glass, he felt it calm his apprehensive nerves. Then, he pushed the door gently open, as sparkling blue eyes fixed on him and he was greeted by an expression of surprise.

"... Shiki? Why are you here?"

"I want to talk to you. And I want you to listen to me." He replied without hesitation, and the steadiness of his voice surprised him.

He draped the blanket gently around her shoulders, wrapping it around her slim form. Instead of withdrawing, he found himself closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around her, embracing her tightly. Rima was surprised to say the least, and she couldn't help wondering had her arms not been confined by the blanket, would she have returned the embrace? However, she didn't have time to contemplate this thought, as Shiki began to speak, softly and quietly beside her ear.

"Rima ... don't deny it ... I know you remember me. Please don't lie to me anymore. You're hurting me more like this. I ... I read your diary, while you were asleep. I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry... " He took a deep breath.

Rima was too stunned to reply. Shiki couldn't see her face from his position, but he felt a warm drop of moisture fall onto his shoulder, followed by another and another.

"... Gomen ne ... Shiki ... gomen ne ... "

"Shh, Rima." His hand stroked soothingly up and down her back, trying to calm the tremors that shook her slim frame.

"Rima, I know that you can get better. Please, I need you to get better. Why won't you have the operation?"

Rima pulled away slightly, leaning back against the wall instead and looking down into the garden below, clearly avoiding his gaze. She inhaled slowly before she began to speak.

"The operation ... there's a chance of me losing my memory, or even my life. Losing my life wouldn't be such a big difference from what I risk now, but my memory ... I can't risk that. Do you know how hard it was for me to pretend to forget you? I felt it slowly killing me inside every second of every day. It hurts, Shiki. And if I really did lose my memory ... I don't know how I could live like that. Living like that would be meaningless. Starting life over again and knowing what I lost, but being unable to get it back ... can you imagine how hard that would be? I ... I don't want to lose you for real, Shiki ..."

The last sentence was little more than a whisper, but Shiki caught it and he felt his heart clenching.

"... But Rima, I can't lose you either. Can't you see that? Please, do it for me. My life would be meaningless too if I lost you. And I wouldn't be able to start life over again. I would have to continue, with all the memories of what I lost, with everything reminding me of you but not being able to see you again. I don't think I'll be able to go on if I watched you slip away right in front of my very eyes, knowing that I could have done something to hold on to you ... "

He pleaded desperately with her, and Rima saw the appeal in his eyes. She could see his point and it almost convinced her, but she knew deep down that she wouldn't be able to live either if she had forgotten him for real. She opened her mouth to speak, but Shiki beat her to it, placing a finger over her lips to silence her.

"If you're scared of forgetting me, then let's make a proposition. We'll spend a day together, and we'll take lots of photos and videos. We'll visit all our favourite places. Then you'll have the operation. If the worst comes to the worst, then at least you'll have these memories, preserved on tape, of our times together. You'll be able to remember a bit about me, at least. And we'll have time. I'm sure we'll gradually go back to the way we are now. I'm willing to wait, Rima, for however long it takes you. I'll wait for you till the day I die ... "

Rima considered his idea, turning it over in her head. Perhaps this was a feasible idea ... and if she really did die in the process ... at least then he'd have the photos and memories to remind him that they did try, and that they both gave their all to the very end. She decided to try it, more for his sake than her own. She knew he would blame himself if she didn't have the operation and she didn't want him living with the pain and guilt.

She nodded once, slowly. "Okay ... I'll have the operation. But promise me you'll move on if things go wrong ... "

Shiki's eyes filled with hope and the first flicker of happiness in what seemed like an eternity. He nodded his head, with a warm, encouraging smile on his face, even as he acknowledged deep down in his heart that he would never move on. However, he refused to linger on the possibility. There was a good chance that things would turn out okay in the end.

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_Once again, thank you so much to everyone who has bothered reading this. Pweez review! =3 Much love, Suki Yume x_


	11. Under the Cherry Blossom Tree

_A/N: Hey again ... here's the next chapter. I know I'm taking you on a wild rollercoaster ride with this story, gomen ne! You'll be glad to know that there is only one chapter left of this story and we're finished! Anyways, as usual, just a quick thank you to everyone who has responded in some way to the last chapter (that's to xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, Satori0013, Pumpkin Girl and TemaxShika forever! ^^) And now I'll let you get on with reading. As usual, please excuse any dumbness! Oh, and please don't hate me! *hides in a corner under a duvet*  
_

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**Under the Cherry Blossom Tree**

Shiki held Rima's hand as she was wheeled away to the operating theatre. She smiled bravely up at him and he tried to make his smile as reassuring as possible. Outside the operating theatre, the nurses gave them a moment of privacy.

"Ne, Shiki, be brave for me. Stay strong, no matter what. If things go wrong, just know that I fought till the very end. We both did. So don't blame yourself, we tried the hardest we could. There was nothing else we could have done …"

A single tear rolled down Shiki's cheek, and Rima reached up to wipe at away, letting her hand linger and cup his cheek. She wanted to remember every single little detail about him. She looked into his eyes and engraved the image into her brain.

"Don't- don't talk like that Rima. Everything will be okay. I'll be waiting here right till the moment you wake up. I won't leave …"

"Shiki, just don't do anything stupid. And remember what I've always told you … love yourself more! You are worthy of love, no matter what you think. I love you, Shiki … "

Shiki smiled down at her angelic face, a bitter-sweet feeling spreading in his heart.

"Me too, Rima, me too. I love you so much, always have, and always will …"

One of the nurses approached them with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, but it's time …"

Shiki took the hand cupping his cheek and brought it lightly to his lips.

"I'll see you later."

Though he smiled, there was the hint of tears glimmering in his eyes. To be absolutely truthful, he was afraid. As Rima was slowly succumbing to the effects of the anaesthetic the nurse had injected, he was hit by the stark reality of the situation. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't …

Rima gave him a weary smile and gave a gentle squeeze to Shiki's hand, trying to reassure him.

"Sayonara … love you …"

The words were barely louder than a whisper and were spoken as the nurses started to push Rima away, but Shiki caught them nonetheless.

He tried his best to smile as Rima's eyes closed and she tumbled into the realm of unconsciousness. As the doors to the operating theatre swung closed with what seemed to be a sickening finality, the tears fell freely from Shiki's eyes and ran down his cheeks. He realised he was standing in the middle of a deserted corridor, the whitewashed walls the only company around him. It was so empty … like his life if Rima was gone … Shiki mentally shook himself violently, stopping his train of thought. He couldn't think like that. Looking into her eyes back then, Shiki knew that she had already given up. She didn't put her hopes on the outcome. If he gave up on her too, then what hope was there left?

With a false optimism, Shiki directed his thoughts to things he could do with Rima when she was better. He sat outside the operating theatre for a while in the oppressive silence, the white walls seeming to merge into a giant abyss of nothingness. He couldn't stand it anymore: that feeling of isolation and complete desolation. He stood up and found himself walking along a familiar corridor.

It wasn't long before he was standing in front of the door to Rima's private room. He let himself in and breathed in the familiarity. He felt so much closer to Rima here; it was like her presence lingered in everything around him.

He sat on the large sofa chair next to the bed. From his position, he had a beautiful view of the balcony. He reached over and opened the glass doors, letting in the warm spring breeze. Outside, it looked like a blizzard of sakura petals. The wind carried the delicate pink petals and Shiki watched as they whirled past in a mesmerising dance. Suddenly, a single sakura petal flew in through the glass doors and landed in Shiki's lap.

Shiki let out a soft surprised laugh as he gently held the soft delicate petal in the palm of his hand. Memories of the previous day came flooding back to him …

_Shiki and Rima sat side by side under a sakura tree by the lakeside, just like they always used to. Shiki had his arm around Rima and she rested her head on his shoulder, her umbrella discarded by her side as she opted for the shade of the beautiful canopy of cherry blossoms instead._

"_Ne, Shiki, isn't it beautiful?"_

_Shiki hummed in agreement, watching as the petals whirled around them like confetti._

"_I want our wedding to be like this …"_

_Shiki laughed in surprise, causing a faint pink blush to adorn Rima's cheeks._

"_Thinking that far ahead already?" he teased._

_The blush on her cheeks deepened slightly. She decided to return his teasing._

"_Yep. I think you will make a very pretty groom all dressed in pink with sakura blossoms in your hair …"_

_Shiki mimed throwing up and Rima pretended to punch him._

_Their laughter was musical as it echoed around the deserted space and blended with the singing of the birds. It felt so normal and it was so easy to just fall into their previous way of life when everything was still perfect. But unfortunately, the reason they were there in the first place hovered over the otherwise perfect day like a dark cloud._

_Although Rima had said the purpose of this day was to record some memories together in case she forgot him, Shiki knew the other reason, the reason that she wouldn't say out loud. He could read it clearly in her troubled eyes. She wanted it to be a sort of back up, in case she didn't make it through the operation. She thought that it would give Shiki the evidence that they both tried and he did everything he could for her. Shiki knew this, but he decided to play along. He might as well take every opportunity he could …_

_This fact tainted the memories of that day. Every time Rima whipped out her camera and started taking pictures and recording videos of them and everything around them, Shiki felt that feeling of dread stir in the depths of his heart. He was trying to avoid the inevitable. But nevertheless, he tried his best to put on a cheerful smile for the camera and tried to keep the atmosphere as light-hearted as possible._

_They had a great day doing nothing much in particular, just enjoying each other's company and admiring the beauty of their favourite hiding place. Nobody would bother them here and it was their own little private sanctuary. _

_As night fell, they sat by the lakeside, looking at the idyllic image of the stars and the glittering waters that seemed to reflect the starlight. Shiki remembered the last time he was here. However, this time, the wind no longer felt chilling, and the calmness of the waters no longer irritated him. He enjoyed watching the gentle ripples form on the surface of the sparkling dark waters and watched the little petals from the trees around him fall into the lake and float with the gentle movement of the water. Most of all, he enjoyed feeling the warm presence of Rima by his side and hearing her soft voice as she spoke to him about nothing in particular._

However, suddenly, he was back at the hospital, hearing a nurse's voice.

"I'm sorry for your loss …"

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_Thank you so so much for reading and supporting this story to this point. You don't know how much you guys mean to me! I know I say this a lot, but it's the truth from the bottom of my heart. ^^ Please continue to show your support! Much love, Suki Yume. x_


	12. An Eternal Promise

_A/N: Ohayo! This is the last ever chapter to Vacancy, I realli hope you'll enjoy it! I'll keep my rambling to the end, I'll let you read this first. Just a quick thank you to: MidnightRose01, Sleepy Clouds, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx and of course, Satori0013! More later! Aaand you know what's coming: please ignore any dumbness, I apologise!_

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**An Eternal Promise**

_No. No … It can't be … She can't be …gone …_

Gone. The word repeated in his mind, taunting him, mocking him. _This can't be happening. Come back, Rima … please … tell me this isn't happening … tell me it isn't real …_

He felt this is a final push towards the dark void occupying his head and heart, and soon he felt himself tumbling, faster and faster, into a world of nothingness. He didn't want to live anymore. It felt so cold, so cold and so dark … he became convinced that he would never know the meaning of warmth again.

But suddenly, there was something soft touching his cheek … and a voice … _Rima? Rima, is that you? Where are you Rima? _Shiki struggled against the despair threatening to crush him and tried to reach out to the voice … And then there was light all around him, painfully bright against his senses. He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision and focus on what he was seeing.

He was in a room … Rima's room. He recognised the white sheets of the hospital bed and the balcony … He had somehow ended up leaning against the hospital bed, his head pillowed on his arms. Then he realised what the soft object was: Rima's teddy bear was touching his cheek. He drew back slightly, taking in its large brown eyes and cute face.

And then another much-loved face appeared beside it and Shiki felt his heart leap out of his chest.

"Rima? Rima!"

"No, Shiki, this is Kuma-chan." She laughed. Her laughter was music to his ears. "Don't tell me now it's your turn to forget me?" she teased with a smile on her face.

He jumped up and hurled himself towards her, enveloping her in a tight embrace.

"It's okay … it's okay … you're okay … "

A tear slid down his face and landed on her shoulder, quickly joined by more droplets.

"Shiki, are you okay?" The concern was evident in her voice as she stroked his back, trying to calm his laboured breathing.

He pulled back and cupped her cheek in his hand, looking into her mesmerising blue eyes to convince himself that _this _was the reality, that Rima really was right there in front of him. _It's okay … it was only a dream … only a dream …_

The emotions that surged through him at that moment were indescribable. To be quite honest, Shiki didn't even know what he was feeling. Amongst the confusion, Shiki could only identify love. Love and happiness. They filled his heart with warmth and healed all the scars.

Rima had awoken from the anaesthetic to find herself lying on the hospital bed in her private room, a sleeping Shiki slumped forwards on the couch, his head resting on his folded arms next to her. She smiled at the peaceful image and she tried to let him get some much needed rest. He must have been really tired, because even as the nurses fussed around her and carried out all kinds of tests and measurements, Shiki had not stirred once. Later when the nurses had left and Rima was finally allowed to have some time to herself; she leaned back against the pillow and watched Shiki sleep.

He smiled to himself as he slept, making Rima smile too. Was he dreaming about her?

But suddenly, his expression changed and his brow furrowed, before tears started to emerge from beneath his closed eyelids. She gently called his name, trying to wake him. She thought she heard him whisper her name, and in reply, she leaned forwards and touched his cheek with her teddy bear, making it nuzzle him like a little girl.

Blue eyes finally blinked open and the look of pure joy that passed across his face was a memory that Rima would never forget.

As the days passed, Rima's health steadily improved and soon she was strong enough to be allowed out the hospital. She would be referred back for regular check-ups of course; but Shiki was simply content to have her by his side. He had been through so much; he had nearly lost her more than once, and now all he wanted more than anything was to make up for the time he lost. The day Rima left the hospital; she stood outside in the warm air, looked up into the bright blue sky, and silently directed a message to no one in particular: _Thank you. Thank you for giving me another chance._

She didn't know who she was talking to, but somewhere deep in her heart, she knew that fate had somehow changed and offered her a second chance at life – a chance that she would happily accept. From that very moment, she knew that she would dedicate her life to making Shiki happy. He deserved it, after all the pain he had endured for her sake. With every beat of her heart, she was forever grateful to Shiki. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be here today. He had saved her many times. She had already given up long ago; if Shiki hadn't persisted and continued to fight for her, then she didn't know where she'd be now.

All she knew was that if he had given up too back then, then they wouldn't be sitting here today, under their beloved cherry blossom tree, enjoying the birdsong and the fragrant spring air and most of all, each others' company.

Rima suddenly stood up from her spot beside Shiki and caught a cherry blossom petal on its way down to the ground. She laughed as she spun around to face him, her dress flowing out elegantly as she did so. She approached him slowly as he watched her every movement, before opening her hand and letting it drop onto Shiki.

"Ne, Rima, what are you doing?"

"… Yep. Perfect."

"What's perfect?" he asked, confusion apparent in his voice.

"You look beautiful with cherry blossoms in your hair." She laughed as Shiki suddenly remembered their conversation a while ago, beneath this very tree.

Rima turned and ran, laughing all the way as Shiki leapt up and gave a half-hearted attempt to catch her, pretending to be annoyed.

"You-!"

The air was filled with their laughter as they chased each other round and round. Shiki caught her in the end and she struggled in his strong grip before finally giving in, choosing instead to turn around and wrap her own arms around his neck, burying her face against his warm shoulder.

"Ne, Shiki?"

He made a sound of acknowledgement, still trying to get his breath back after their recent childish game.

"I love you so much … "

"… Forever and always …" he finished for her.

That was a vow they would never forget and as they stood in each others' arms in the middle of the river bank, the sakura petals whirling around them and Rima's necklace sparkling in the sunlight, they couldn't help but feel as though through those simple but heartfelt words, a special promise had been made.

_For better and for worse, in sickness and in health, I will love you, with every beat of my heart …_

~*~*~.:.~*~*~

_Well, that's the last ever chapter of Vacancy. What did you think? I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope everyone liked the ending. ^^ I want to take this one last opportunity to thank EVERYBODY who has ever read this story and especially to those who have seen this story through to its conclusion and shown their support, even when I was having computer issues ... So thank you guys so much, you realli made writing this so much more enjoyable and you kept me motivated all this time! So I dedicate this story to all you guys out there, because you played a major part in the creation of this story. Arigato! ^^ One last thing: since this is the last chapter, any reviews will get a private reply, and if you happen to have any requests for stories or anything, leave me a message in a review and I'll see what I can do. And no worries, I'm already working on a new Shiki/Rima fic! ^^ Much love, Suki Yume. x_


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